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This has been a week of sickness. First it was Micah, then yesterday Keziah joined the ranks and today I feel lousy too. Just a cold, but still no fun. Keziah is a demanding baby at the best of times, but yesterday my arms ached from holding her. It took me ALL afternoon to make a salad and get myself showered and ready for our care group potluck in the evening. I had to do everything in stages between holding Keziah, entertaining Keziah, trying to feed Keziah, trying to get Keziah to go to sleep... Later in the evening the kids were asleep and I accomplished more in one hour than I had all day. At least my kitchen was clean when I went to bed. I hate waking up to a dirty kitchen.

Here's a montage of Keziah the other night before her bath. Pictures like this make me glad to have a privatized blog for the freedom to post her cute little baby bum...



Hmmm, what's in here?

Oh, hey mom.

Am I sitting on something?

I love you!













Micah loves being naked too. And apparently he aspires to be a circus act...




















Life continues in a forward motion. Sometimes I fool myself into thinking that if I can keep busy and put time between myself and Nathan's death, that it will feel better. But we can't escape grief. It is with us no matter where we go or what we do. But I have found some comfort in reading Randy Alcorn's book entitled Heaven. It has given me a longing for my eternal home that I have never before experienced as I begin to imagine what it will actually be like. Alcorn believes the Bible gives proof that there is a present Heaven where all believers go when they die, but that our final and eternal home will be the New Earth - which isn't in some distant dimension somewhere, it's right here on our present Earth - fully restored and perfect. He also points out many passages that say our earthly bodies will also be resurrected and restored. The goal being that we will live just as God had intended for us back when he created the earth and the beautiful garden of Eden. Here's a quote from his book:

"God has never given up on his original creation. Yet somehow we've managed to overlook an entire biblical vocabulary that makes this point clear. Reconcile. Redeem. Restore. Recover. Return. Renew. Regenerate. Resurrect... These words emphasize that God always sees us in light of what he intended us to be, and he always seeks to restore us to that design. Likewise, he sees the earth in terms of what he intended it to be, and he seeks to restore it to its original design."

God isn't about throwing away the old and making something new - he is about restoration! I was reminded of the passage from Romans 8 that talks about creation being "liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the glorious freedom of the children of God" (v. 21). Suddenly heaven doesn't feel so distant and strange and ethereal. It's a real place that we can see and taste and touch! Where people never die or get in accidents, where there is no sickness or need for a doctor, where there is no nasty cold virus! I haven't stopped thinking about Heaven since I started this book and I can honestly say for the first time that I'm anxious to get there. As much as this present Earth can feel like home, there is a place that was tailor-made for us and will be our perfect home:

"But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body."
Philippians 3:21


Homesick - by Mercy Me

You're in a better place, I've heard a thousand times
And at least a thousand times I've rejoiced for you
But the reason why I'm broken, the reason why I cry
Is how long must I wait to be with you

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now

Help me Lord cause I don't understand your ways
The reason why I wonder if I'll ever know
But, even if you showed me, the hurt would be the same
Cause I'm still here so far away from home

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now

In Christ, there are no goodbyes
And in Christ, there is no end
So I'll hold onto Jesus with all that I have
To see you again
To see you again

And I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now