Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Good days & bad days

I've noticed that when things are going good - a good night all around, good naps, happy kids - then I feel like I have things under control, like it's all going to work out fine! Yesterday was one of those "good" days. The kids slept in and we all woke up feeling rested and happy. I was able to keep Keziah on a good routine all day (much needed after a weekend of non-routine), Micah actually fell asleep on his own and had a great nap (I had a brain wave to put on one of his CD's in his room and it worked great). Micah woke up happy and was just being his cute and fun-loving self. I felt like all was well in our little world.



But then the night came. We tried to put Micah down at 8 pm and he didn't fall asleep until 9:45. Yep, that's almost 2 hours of our evening spent trying to get him to go to bed. Then, Keziah decided to wake up a billion times last night - OK, not that many, but you DO lose count after about 5 or 6 times. I hate that I ended up feeding her THREE times in the night because I know this is working against me... After Micah's short night, I figured he would sleep in again this morning but nope, up at 6:00.

I put Keziah down for her morning nap and went to have a shower while Micah was watching TV. I took the time to clean the shower a bit while I was in there so it was a bit longer than normal. As soon as I turned the shower off I could hear Keziah screaming in her crib. I quickly went to check on her and found her all red and sweaty from getting so worked up. There was no way she was going back to sleep, so that was it for her nap. I ended up feeding her and now we're way off routine once again. (Not that I'm a real stickler for schedule but I know that, in theory, a consistent daytime routine should make for better nighttime sleep and right now we could use all the help we can get!) She's sleeping again now but has already woken up several times in her sleep. I hate that I go in there and stuff that soother in her mouth over and over again - she's quickly learning (from me) that she can't sleep without it...

Then it was time to fight with Micah to have his afternoon nap. The CD idea that I was so proud of yesterday was a no-go today. It didn't help that he got up to play with the CD player buttons and accidentally cranked the volume and freaked himself out. After an hour I have decided no nap today. If he's not going to sleep in his bed, then no sleeping anywhere - not in the car or on the couch or in his chair... I'm going to see if we can keep him up all day and hopefully tonight he'll go to sleep without a fuss. Can a toddler really get by with only 8 and a half hours of sleep??


Right now he's playing contentedly by himself even though he's tired - I can tell by all the yawning and eye-rubbing. Despite the fact that he seems happy, I can't help but feel like my patience is running thin with him today. Just the thought that our napping days might be over...! I'm SO not ready for this.

I notice that one bad day like this makes me feel overwhelmed and so out of control. It seems like things will NEVER improve - Micah will never learn to fall asleep on his own, Keziah will never sleep through the night (or a whole nap for that matter) and Micah will never have another afternoon nap again...


I quickly forget that my Heavenly Father actually cares about these things too. The things that consume my thoughts are important to Him. It's easy to feel all alone in this - especially when Erik is at work and more removed from all of these things. I know I'm not the only mom who deals with these issues - but it's easy to compare yourself to those moms who appear to have things under control. Why do I feel like it's completely up to me to fix all of these problems? The thought is overwhelming and impossible...

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ~ Philippians 4:6

Cast all your anxiety on him, because he cares for you. ~ 1 Peter 5:7

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths. ~Proverbs 3:5

Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass ... Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him ... ~ Psalm 37:4-7

11 comments:

Heather said...

Jamie - I am SO on the same page as you are. I always seem to be comparing myself to others (YOU) and think "how can she have things so under control?" or "how does she have her kids on a perfect schedule?". I get very overwhelmed too - and then remember God cares. It's so easy when the day goes well, but as soon as something goes the wrong way... it's the end of the world. You are doing great, and trust me, my days are definately far from perfect!!!!

Summer said...

Jamie, I wouldn't get too worked up over it. It will all work in the end and everything will have a schedule to it. I agree with Heather, you a great Mom. Things like this won't last forever. Just remember that things will get better with time.

Kimberly said...

Hi there, thanks for the post! I'm having a day like that today too :) I hope you have a better night and day tomorrow. God is big!

Suzanne said...

It is nice to know that no matter how we seem on the "outside"...we are all very similar. WE have similar issues, joys, fears & struggles! The Lord is good to us! Every day I ponder the trials that Jax & I have & just pray that he will turn out ok!!!

I hope tonight went smoothly!

Trev & Rebekah said...

Jamie, I like that you are honest when you have good and bad days. Parenting isn't easy and I think you are doing a great job at it. I like that you realize your need to turn to Jesus in all this. I pray that things will get better and that you will find rest in those verses.

kelly said...

i agree - thanks for the honesty. I know all about those good and bad days, though it's only with one kid. praying for strength and patience for you as you deal with "life!"

Cheri said...

Hey James: Hang in there!! Those days are so tough. But it will get better again!! Reed went through a period where he didn't nap and then soon after he turned 3 he started napping again. It's weird, they change all the time. You are doing a fantastic job! I know it's hard as moms to feel like we are good at it and doing well since all we can often think about are our mistakes and shortcomings. But God knows all these things and loves us so much and will help us through anything and everything. Hard to remember some times but always true.

Nathan & Rosanna said...

Jamie, you are a beautiful woman! I admire your gentle and quiet strength. You are an incredible mom! I love the easy laughter that escapes from your lips. I will be praying for you lovely four tonight - may you feel God's intimate care - may His love and peace give you indescribable rest. May the good days out weigh the bad ones! We love you.

Rachel Z said...

and, my favourite parenting verse ...

"He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young." Isaiah 40:11

Thanks for the honesty and encouragement!

megan said...

Jamie,
Thanks for your honesty. I can say I understand to a point. Only with one child. Aidan just woke up from a 30 minute nap! Thanks for the verses that you posted as well. They are great reminders.
One moment at a time..... you can do it. God will not give you more than you can handle. He is there!

Jeff and Jocelyn said...

I to thank you for those verses, I have had equally frustrating nights because Aiden is fighting a nasty cold, just when I thought he would sleep through the night, he got sick. ITs hard not to get frustrated in night when you are up for the 4th time and he won't eat because his nose is stuffed and I am getting frustrated at my poor son who can't even breath! Ahhh! But these crazy times will pass but its good to be encouraged again by you and by God:)