Friday, September 28, 2007

A rough week for Keziah

Don't let this innocent face fool you!


Keziah has been bruised and battered this week - mostly by the hands of her older brother. The transition to crawling has made Keziah a lot happier, but unfortunately it has made Micah a lot un-happier! He sees her coming from across the room and starts screaming at her, ramming her, crawling on top of her, hitting her... You get the picture. He likes to hug her really roughly or roll on top of her. I know he doesn't do it out of a kind heart, he does it because teasing her like this gets a reaction. From me and from Keziah. And Keziah is SO over-dramatic. She'll start wailing even if he barely touches her. No wonder teasing her is so satisfying for Micah. They remind me of a cat and dog we used to have - Spunky (the dog) would chase and tease Fluff (yep, that's the cat) and she would get SO mad at him. Spunky always had this satisfied look on his face until Fluff got him with her claws or something... I'm secretly hoping Keziah will learn to defend herself soon.

Here's Micah "playing" with Keziah. I know that look in his eye already when he starts heading towards her...

Here Micah is using her head as a drum for his balloons. She thought it was fun until he started playing double-time...

One day earlier in the week Micah got angry with her about something and pushed her down when she was sitting on her knees. She hit her head on the bottom edge of a cabinet and smashed her face into the laminate floor. She wailed like mad but I couldn't see any damage initially. It wasn't until half an hour later that I thought she was smiling kind of funny. Sure enough her lip had started to swell.

I tried to capture her wounds on camera but the pictures don't really do them justice. The first picture shows where Keziah's head met the cabinet and the second one shows off her fat lip.




I'm not sure what to do with him. I feel like this is what I sound like all day, "Micah, Micah! Micah stop! Micah leave her alone! Micah stop rolling on top of her! Micah - she doesn't like that!" I've talked to him about how when Keziah cries, that's her way of saying, "this doesn't feel good, please stop!" We use the naughty corner quite consistently and spankings occasionally and taking away privileges. What else can I do?

Micah in the "naughty corner":


I remember someone comparing children to puppies (sorry for another animal comparison) - that they need to be trained how to behave. It's interesting to see that even at that young age, our natural instincts are to only look out for ourselves. It helps to think of Micah's behaviour as a lack of self-control and so I'm praying that our consistent discipline will eventually help him learn good behaviour. But some days it feels like we're getting nowhere!


Keziah's rough week didn't end there. Last night Erik had the kids upstairs at Grandma & Grandpa's house when Keziah fell into the edge of a bookshelf. Her head immediately started to swell to a red golfball size lump on her forehead. It looked so awful! I didn't take a picture of it at its worst last night, but I took one this morning. There's still a bit of a lump and a large bruise is forming... (You can also see her cute little tooth in this picture :)


Now we're looking ahead to a full weekend. Erik has an early hockey game tonight which means that I might actually be able to take Micah. And my parents are expected to arrive sometime this weekend from Manitoba so I need to get the house in order!

21 comments:

teresia benedicta said...

hi jamie!
i guess the naughty corner is a good way to teach micah that being mean to his sister is just not right!
maybe you can ask him how HE would feel when someone is crawling over HIM, hitting HIM, and so on....maybe that´s more comprehensible.....sure it´s good to say "keziah doesn´t like that", but i think he doesn´t want her to feel good and he might not be interested in what keziah likes or not?!
hope it´s getting better!
greets
leslie

Kimberly said...

We've been having the same problems since Katie started crawling. It's nice to know we're not alone! Let us know if you have a breakthrough!

harderl said...

Ah, stories of Spunky... that reminds me of Joel and my "dating years". Poor Keziah...I'm fortunate in the fact that our girls have never been very physical with each other. They do have their arguments though!
Have fun with your parents.
Still here waiting for a baby, 1 week overdue tomorrow!!
Laura

kelly said...

wow - those are some good (?) war wounds she's got already!! Sorry to hear you're having to deal with this - i know you were so looking forward to keziah's new freedom with crawling, but now it seems a bit of a love/hate thing! I"m sorry I don't have any advice...it sounds like you're doing good in explaining things to micah, punishing him and being consistent, so keep it up!

Leanne said...

Hi Jamie,

It was good to see you this week - we'll have to plan a monthly Superstore meeting :)
Sorry to hear about your discipline woes...I'm not quite there yet, so I'm learning from you! Poor Keziah, those bumps would hurt! Good luck with everything, keep us posted...

Trev & Rebekah said...

She sure seems like a tough cookie though if those bruises are all over and don't seem to bother her. Good thing kids aren't breakable, eh?

Amber said...

Ohhh, sorry to hear about the sibling conflicts going on :( I hope things get better soon. I'm sure it will help having your parents out...you must be so happy that they are visiting! Have a good weekend!

Michelle said...

And so it begins! I had a feeling the novelty of her crawling would wear off quickly on Micah! My kids did the SAME thing and so did a million other kids! And your SO right..some days all we do is say "no" but consistancy is the key! My kids are old enough now that when they're figthing, I stick them in the corner holding hands!!! They wanna touch each other..they can do it in a loving way!!! He'll get it soon enough!

Have an awesome time with your parents! BC from MB is a looong trip...I know....have done it a few times myself :p Prayers that you'll feel refreshed and renewed after their visit!!

Charlotte said...

Sounds overwhelming and challenging - praying God will give you wisdom and supernatural patience :D

Sarah said...

oh, boy. it definitely sounds like you've had a rough week. it does sound like you are doing everything you can to help Micah make better choices. it is probably partially his age and as he gets older and understands more etc. it will hopefully get better. i pray that God will give you wisdom for the here and now as you try to deal with him effectively.
blessings.

Donna said...

Nip it in the butt now! It is easier said than done though. My 2 are 4 years apart, and Merci is 7 and E 3 and they fight an do this sibling rivalry ALWAYS=(

Pray for creative ideas.

rachel z said...

So the games begin, hey? It's tough. I asked my friend the other day (she has 3 who are 4 and under!) ... do you feel like you're giving threats all day long? Yup. What else can you do but pray for patience and strive for consistency. The fighting will seem unending but one thing I"m noticing with my boys is that the little one starts to get a whole lot faster and is really beginning to defend himself. As much as they fight, Max is always talking about how much he loves his brother. Hang in there. Take a deep breath. You can do it!

erin said...

let me tell you, the fighting thing unfortuantly doesnt change much. My kids fight constantly. One minute they are best friends and the other they are beating each other.
as for discipline, every child is different and some things that work on others, don't work on my kids. Finding what works is the challenge.
thinking back, I remember the first time Cassidy 'fought back' at Aidan and he was pretty startled and shocked.
have fun with mom and dad

Karen said...

Hey Jamie,
I can start to sympethize - Tyler has just started "roaring" at Graham to scare him, and get him to cry! It annoys me too, so it's making me go crazy!! Anyways, good luck! Hope it gets better for both of us!

Summer said...

keep it up!! You are a great mom and im sure things will get better for you!

Evonne Hendy said...

Hey Jamie
o poor keziah i feel for her getting beat up by her older brother sad day. I hope that things get better and who knows maybe they will love each other when they grow up well blessings on you.

The Kincaids said...

Sorry- Jamie, but your blog post actually made me laugh. Hearing your suffering brought joy to my soul. How wretched am I??? :) Actually I am relieved to hear your kids are right on the same track as mine! Instead of swollen lips and massive bumps we have bite marks etc. I agree with the discipline area too. We are trying out the same things as you and some days it feels like one step forward, two steps (or maybe three) back. Thank goodness for stages and that our kids will one day be beyond sitting on each other and hitting and biting. I had forgotten all about ol' Spunky until you wrote about him/her. memories, memories! Have fun with your parents! The kids and I are off to see mine in a couple days. Are they staying for your birthday?

Cheri said...

Hey Jamie: How are things? I hope this week goes better for you! I wish I could say it gets better but I'm not sure I can since my kids still like to fight and beat on each other alllll the time! Riley is starting to fight back though so that is sort of satisfying in a way but then they are both screaming! It's a phase, what can you do??! Anyway, Mel asked me if you could email her and "invite" her to your new blog again. She said she had it before but can't find it or lost it or whatever but would like to read it so if you can email it to her that'd be great. If you need her email address again or something, let me know...Thanks...

Janelle said...

oh sweetie. it must be the weather...or just their age. but Kamryn was been unbearable these days!! she doesn't have a sibling to "beat up on". but she's tried with me & Daddy enough times, and her attitude is just horrible. it makes it really hard to see the super cute learning growing cuddly miracle deep down inside her. i feel the same as you - always yelling, always threatning, always telling her to change her attitude, and always sending her to her room. i'm getting quite frustrated with it, and i couldn't imagine having TWO to try to keep out of each others hair & discipline.
you're doing great! you're an amazing Mom with much more patience than alot of us. this is just a part of life...and a stage. there will always be sibling rivalry...it'll just turn into wrestling matches, stealing & much more yelling as they get older! :)
we're all there with ya Jamen. and nobody's looking at you thinking you're a bad mom. we're just all relieved that we're not alone! :) i love you!

Laura said...

poor Keziah - that is a rough week! thank God that He made kids so resilient! Sounds like you're doing everything you can with Micah too - keep it up - it will get better! It seems like you just get to a new stage that's exciting in some way, and has it's very real disadvantages in others - I feel your pain. Hopefully I'll make it to play group on Thursday!

Drea said...

Im with you girlie... Calebs the same way. When I read "micah stop it, she doesnt like that!" Im thinking "so caleb..."

The next thing we're trying is a reward chart to encourage better behavior... cause the time out corner and spanking hasnt been working for us...

It feels like thats all I do is punish him.. so I figured Id try rewarding him some... worth a shot