Thursday, May 24, 2007

Too much whine

Here's a picture that basically sums up how life has been around here this week:


Micah got me out of bed begging for oatmeal and then didn't touch it. Grrr.

Him & Keziah are both still sick so I'm sure that's contributing to the extra tears around here. I feel like the sickness never seems to end! I've been hearing lots of moms saying that lately - is it just the time of year?

Anyway, I'm not sure when it happened but Micah has turned into a really whiny toddler. I look around and see other people's kids and I can't help but feel that Micah is whinier than most. He's not an easy-going, happy-go-lucky kind of kid. Rather, he's impatient, emotional and easily frustrated. According the personality profiles in The Baby Whisperer, Micah's what you might call a "touchy" child - over-sensitive and highly reactive. Now, I have to stop here and tell you all that I love Micah to pieces. He isn't always unhappy and he brings us SO much joy. But I want him to learn to be a patient and caring person. How do I teach him that the world does NOT revolve around him? Or am I asking too much from a 2-year-old?

Something that really bothers me is the fact that Micah is almost 2 and a half and he's still not staying in the church nursery without Erik or I there. He can be really clingy and if he loses sight of us he freaks out. This actually saddens me more than anything because he seems insecure and fearful. I want him to be confident and unafraid. I want to see him play more with other kids. And then I feel guilty because I think I should be able to do something about it. Oh, the things we worry about as parents...

But just to make sure you don't think our week was ALL bad, here are some pictures of the kids enjoying a sunny May evening. One of Kelly's posts last week reminded me of a hammock-swing that I've had in storage for awhile. I decided to haul it out and hang it up since I figured the kids would like it...


12 comments:

Jeff and Jocelyn said...

It's theraputic to hear that not everyone's week goes so smooth! I wish your kids a speedy recovery. I think about how miserable I feel when I am sick, and then feel a lot more empathy for Aiden-he also spends a lot of time in the tub when he sick. Its relaxing and ususally makes him happy and tired all in one.

Rachel Z said...

I'm so with you on the whiny toddler. I felt the very sam ething with Max. But I'm finding that, like a good wine, it gets better with age. We've really noticed a difference in Max in last 6 mo. - 1 year. It's much easier for him to cope now that his vocabulary is really starting to explode. Of course it gives him more things to whine about but at least we're able to talk about it a little more sensibly.

The nursery thing is so hard. We toughed it out when he was just over a year and he's been pretty good since. He had a relapse just before Marty was born but got over that pretty quick. Micah's getting close the the age for Sunday School, maybe that will be an easier transition than the nursery.

erin said...

the nursery thing is frustrating. Micah sounds just like Cassidy. Very clingy, emotional, whiney, etc. . .it was the worst between the ages of 2 and 3. She is now alot better. She still is pretty sensitive and we have to always be careful, but she finally goes to sunday school by herself. She often whimpers at the start but is fine after a while. Liam on the other hand is more like Aidan and loves going to nursery by himself (thankgoodness)
I am sure it will get better. I remember forcing myself every week to bring them to nursery, even if they cried and didn't last long. The big thing I found is to never try and sneak out, always let him know you are going, hand him over to the teacher and hug him goodbye and say see you later. That way they know you are coming back and don't panic when you leave them.
oh, as for him begging for oatmeal, that is what i deal with ever morning, times three and then they of course don't want it when it is done. so frustrating!
way to go Micah on the potty training though.

Michelle said...

Ahhhh yes...they call it terrible 2's for a reason! It does get better but I found when Brooklyn whines or is having a fit, I grab grab arm and hold on "firmly" (not enough to hurt but enought to know they better listen!!), get down to her level and look right into her eyes and say in a firm voice "That behaviour is inappropriate"! That word maybe a little to big for Micah to understand but you could use wrong or what else I say is "what you're doing is a bad-do!" Rather than telling them they are bad, I say their actions are bad. As far as the nursery and being clingy, I would just leave him! I know...totally easier said than done but once he sees you leave and then sees you come back, it'll get easier. That's what he needs to see is that you DO come back. If he screams the whole time then maybe try leaving him somewhere that he won't disturb anything!!! Try taking him to a daycare for only like 30 minutes and you can even stand outside and then come back in but once he sees you come back, it'll get better!! Good luck and I hope they feel better soon. I think when kids are sick, it's always hardest on the mom!!! Lucky us :p

dee said...

Hey Jamie,

I can totally relate to the church nursery issues.....Ella went to kidz church on her own for the very first time this past Sunday. I think the trick was that Opa (my dad) brought her down to the room instead of mommy or daddy. I was shocked by this progress because we always have to stay with her cause she totally freaks out!!! Hopefully she will be willing to go this next week but we will see. I'm sure in time Micah will be sooo happy with the other kids that he won't want to leave!

Summer said...

Hi Jamie,

I found this. Encourage your toddler to use a normal voice when they are asking for something they want. However, your toddler may not know the difference between a “nice voice” and a whiney voice. It may help if you record your toddler’s voice when they are whining and when they are speaking in the tone you like. When you are both in a good mood, then play the tape for your toddler so that he can hear the difference and explain why you like it when he speaks in the “nice voice.” You may even want to practice talking in a whiney voice and a proper voice so that you know your toddler is aware of the difference.

Hope it helps

kelly said...

i have no advice on the whining or clinging. but the pictures of the kids in the hammock sure are cute!

Cheri said...

Hey James. Sorry to hear about your week. Doesn't sound great, but sort of typical too! I am beginning to think that the first child is usually that same personality that you said Micah is. Reed is very sensitive and dramatic and so is another little boy that we have met here too. Riley is not like this at all. Although we are experiencing the clingy and non-nursery thing with him right now!! All I can say is that I hope they grow out of it and hang in there...

harderl said...

Olivia is extremely clingy and lately a little whiny too. When she's really whiny she gets sent to her room and when she's ready to speak nicely she can come out. As for the clingy thing, I tried everything with Olivia at nursery school...just leaving, telling her I was leaving, sitting through the whole class with her for 2 months. I did all these things for 2 consecutive years when she was 3 and 4. But she does go to Sunday School by herself now...and has been for awhile now. I was just very consistant in tking her every Sunday. There was a lot of tears and some Sunday's she ended up going into Maddy's class with her. But now she's doing very well. I'm just hoping that kindergarten goes well in the fall!! Isn't it amazing how each of your kids can be so extremely different.
My suggestion for the nursery thing would be to not make church to fun for him. Don't bring toys or books or snacks, and then play up how much fun it is in the nursery. Stick with it.
Sorry for the long comment.
Laura

patti said...

and here i thought Hannah was starting a new trend by being crabby a lot more. every little thing seems like the end of the world. i guess it sounds like it's normal and this too shall pass. oh to know when......

Lindsay said...

no kids = no advice, but that picture of Micah in the hammock is quite possibly one of the cutest things I have ever seen! And Keziah is adorable... her eyes are so blue!!

Andrea said...

Even though our son is only 3 1/2 weeks old, it looks like he fits the profile of a "touchy" baby too. I guess I'm learning what I might have to look forward to!